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Our cat’s name is Max. Short for Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to Funny Cat Father Smoking Beer Lover Vintage Retro Shirt the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And he will have his vengeance, in this life or the next! I have a cat named David Bowie. Doesn’t live up to his namesake. Licks his own ass. Afraid of [long list of nouns here]. I can just imagine the logic behind that choice: “hmm, a name, a name…what to name this turtle, hmm? Tony? That’s alliterative. Maybe a bit too cute. What are some other cool names? Kale…that’s a given.

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Having been through a house fire, I can safely say I’ve grown to not give a  Funny Cat Father Smoking Beer Lover Vintage Retro Shirtshit about the stuff I lost. It’s stuff. I’m alive, my family is alive, and our pets weren’t hurt. Having been through a house fire, I can safely say I’ve grown to not give a shit about the stuff I lost. It’s stuff. I’m alive, my family is alive, and our pets weren’t hurt. Same. I almost feel like what’s the point? I know it’s a shitty attitude, but I can’t help it. No one truly understands what I mean.

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“The key to perfection is imperfection.” I think about Funny Cat Father Smoking Beer Lover Vintage Retro Shirt that quotes daily. His quote has helped me overcome some things. Literally shove your cat in a pillowcase and twist it closed if it’s possible. They’ll be able to breathe. They’ll fucking hate being in the pillowcase. But it’s way harder to get them in a carrier, and taking them straight outside in that situation will freak them out and they’ll do everything to get out of your arms and run, like OP’s MIL’s cat did.

Other products: Nice Best Horse Dad Ever Father’s Day Vintage Shirt.

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