Of Top Official Crazy Bear Lazy Face Mask 2020 Toilet Paper Quarantined Shirt pregnancy and with that comes a much more. Today my husband went back to work and I found myself missing him, badly. I, in my hormone-induced horniness, decided that I absolutely could not wait the 4 hours until he got home and went upstairs to find something to help me out. So it was unsurprising but also disappointing to me to open our “dirty drawer” and find that my favorite vibrator. Had some dust and grossly, an errant strand of pet hair stuck to it. Two flights of stairs preggo to have to go down and spend the 15 minutes cleaning my toy. And then, I saw it. A box of condoms that had been untouched for 8 months.
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Happily and ignorantly I unwrapped one. Put it on the vibrator and went to town figuring. I’d clean it all up once I was done and that. Providing myself a safe and sanitary experience in the interim. My hormonally foggy, pregnant lady-boner brain forgot. The whole reason why we stopped using condoms in the first place. Sure as shit, I had just gleefully and stupidly rubbed an irritant ALL OVER my already super sensitive lady bits. Not only that but I was so embarrassed. Because I knew I’d have to explain to Top Official Crazy Bear Lazy Face Mask 2020 Toilet Paper Quarantined Shirt my very sweet, very loving husband.
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I got horny from pregnancy hormones. Decided to take care of it myself but was too lazy to clean my vibrator. Put a condom on it thinking it would solve the problem. But forgot/ignored that I was allergic to latex. Now I have diaper rash cream on my cooch and my husband is laughing at me. Many comments saying “why the fuck do you still have those? They’re in the Top Official Crazy Bear Lazy Face Mask 2020 Toilet Paper Quarantined Shirt garbage now. People suggesting I abort my baby or hurt my husband or that I’m a whore for masturbating.
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