You never stab me into anyone nice. Always whatever dirty orcs and Just A Girl Who Loves St.Bernard And Falloween Pumpkin Sunset Halloween Shirt bandits you stumble across. Just once, just one time, I want you to go out of the way to have me kill something nice, like a griffon. It doesn’t have to be a griffon, but I’m just saying, it would be nice every once in a while. I feel like she would instead just refuse to appear next time shes needed. Causing a very panicking situation of ‘No! I will not remember when you stabbed me into that hag? Well, this orc can tear you to pieces for all I care.’ Have it constantly be utterly unable to understand the distinction between A party and the adventuring party. “Like, I want to go to the party too!”
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You could just flavor vicious mockery while wielding the sword as Just A Girl Who Loves St.Bernard And Falloween Pumpkin Sunset Halloween Shirt the sword saying it. Swords bards can use their weapon as a focus so this could make sense logically too (although I’m pretty sure Vicious mockery only has verbal components). Maybe it has it’s own ability to cast prestidigitation. It does it in crappy times, or maybe after it deals x amount of damage it gives a disadvantage to the next roll… but with some kind of bonus like more damage, or laying down the blood as difficult terrain or make some monsters make a check to fall prone.
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